Bad Day

Do you mind if I whine just a little a lot?

Today has been a rough day. We have a lot of things going on at my house that, while most are good, can cause a lot of stress. We're house hunting, in fact we have an offer in on one now; my father-in-law is living with us and, though we love him, he has a completely different idea of propriety than we do. *sigh Plus life, work, homeschooling etc.

And while I try to share all the fun aspects of homeschooling, in the name of "keepin' it real" I'd like to share the not so fun side too.

Homeschool moms don't get a break! I'm not talking about the time to myself kind of break, I generally don't crave time away from my kids. I mean the - I can't catch a break, this job is HARD - kind of break. Though I'm sure any parent can say the same thing.

I love homeschooling, I love making life living education! But the follow through is hard for me. I don't like grading papers. It's my least favorite thing to do. And now that I have two high schoolers the record keeping requirements have exploded. So when things get stressful, grading is what usually gets put on the back burner.

Yesterday I sat down to catch up on almost 3 months worth of paper grading. I stopped grading over the holidays, telling the boys to keep their work because I would check it when life slowed down. My older boys do their independent work (math, grammar and reading) on their own and are to come to me if they have any questions.

Apparently one of the boys, who will remain nameless to protect the guilty, decided he didn't need to do his math or grammar. At all. For over 6 weeks.

This wasn't "I didn't understand it", this was will full, willful, disobedience. He said, and I quote, "I knew I'd get caught eventually, I just didn't want to do it."

Congratulations buddy, you just jacked up your summer. Now while your brother gets to enjoy 6 weeks with your mom, you get 2.

I was fuming mad. I firmly explained that every day he asked me if he could _____ (fill in the blank, go outside, play video games, get on Facebook, etc) and I asked "Have you completed your school work?" And he said yes, he LIED. I'm not patient with liars.

I then listed his great characteristics (kindness, generosity etc.) but explained that this episode demonstrated deep seated character flaws, i.e. sins, like lying and selfishness. And now that he's lost my trust it is going to take a very, very long time to get it back. Once bitten, twice shy. Trust is the easiest thing to lose and the hardest to gain.

I'm not sharing all this for your pity, though that would be nice. I'm sharing it to illustrate the daily diligence it takes to raise and homeschool children. It doesn't help that this particular child has, until now, been raised with a "Do it till you get caught, it's not a lie till someone finds out" mentality. But ultimately, I gave too much freedom, now I need to tighten the reins until a certain level of maturity is reached.

I have hope, he's a good kid with a good heart, he just needs firm guidance. All kids do. Raising kids is a daily adjustment game in which you ask yourself "what is in this child's best interests?". And God has promised that if we train our children in the right way, when they are older they will not depart from it (Proverbs 22:6). We may not live to see the reward but our children will.

I don't think any of chose homeschooling, or parenting for that matter, because it's easy. It will be one of our most challenging undertakings. But there is a reason and a purpose, trust in that. I want every in the trenches homeshooler to see that while there will be tough days or weeks, big and small set backs, there is beauty in the journey. And most of it is good!

But on days like this I like to fall back on my friend Stef's favorite verse:

Let us not become weary in doing good, for at the proper time we will reap a harvest if we do not give up. - Galatians 6:9