The week before Tony and Billy moved in, I went to their public school to meet with Billy's IEP case worker.
As I walked through the halls, I have to admit, I felt a touch of nostalgia. Under the glaring fluorescent lights, I smiled at the neat rows of lockers and water fountains. I sighed at the sound of my sneakers squeaking on the highly polished floors. And for a quick moment I wondered...
Would they be better off to continue roaming these clean and ordered halls? Would my children be better off to join them?
Then I was taken into a meeting room where I met with the case worker, another teacher and their boss. For an hour and a half we went over Billy's situation; the areas where he excelled and the areas where he was deficient. My head was swimming as they rattled off unknown acronyms and educational terminology.
My confidence wavered as I listened to them share their knowledge of what Billy needs and how to give it to him. I was silenced by their shiny name badges and impressive job titles, by their IEP student-teacher ratio of 4:1.
And if I'm honest, I was silenced by their big hearts. They loved Billy and didn't want to see him go. They had a passion for their work and wanted to help him succeed. And they had the US Government with its lovely green dollars backing them.
What was I thinking, believing that I could homeschool this kid? I don't have a degree!
But at some point in the meeting, my confidence returned. I noticed that Billy is in 6th grade, has been in this IEP program since 2nd grade, and he is reading and writing on a 3rd grade level on a good day, a very good day. In four years he has had a maximum of one year of academic improvement.
The IEP worker suggested I "go back to the beginning" and reteach him "everything". She explained that he does not yet know his short vowel sounds and that may be the reason he has such trouble spelling and sounding out words.
Billy is truly "one of those students" who has been lost in the system.
They can help, they know what to do; they have the staff, the tools and the money to do it. But it hasn't happened. I'm sure a large part of the problem had to do with the disconnect at home. But still...
Looking at the whole picture I realized, I may not have a degree, or a shiny badge or an impressive title. My house may not be squeaky clean or uber-organized, and I surely don't have a large homeschooling budget.
But what I do have to offer is one-on-one attention, 24 hour support, a myriad of learning tools and a whole lot of love, support, patience and encouragement. Surely we can do better for him.
I wonder why it never occurs to anyone that maybe the amount of time and the ridiculous number of labels, acronyms, and jargon might actually be holding the poor kid back? If these teachers knew he needed to go back to the beginning, *why didn't they do that*? I'll tell you why. Their charts and training got in the way of real education. Special ed (IMHO) does nothing but teach a kid to fail.
ReplyDeleteThat's right!! You CAN do it! You have God's strength behind you giving you power and you WILL know what to do WHEN you need to do it!
ReplyDeleteLove and the Holy Spirit go a long way!!!!
Hugs,
Janet
As a (former) teacher, I have to say that it's always so hard to see those kids who are 'falling through the cracks.' We see them, our heart goes out to them, but something keeps it from really happening for them. I always think that if they had one-on-one support THE ENTIRE DAY, they'd do so much better. But, of course, we can't do that for all children.
ReplyDeleteI know you're going to do a great job with Billy. You're what he needs. Be patient, loving, and consistent with him. You'll see progress soon enough! God gives us all the strength we need! :)
That's exactly what we decided. Your last paragraph says it all.
ReplyDeleteThat is what I can offer.
You hit the nail right there on the head, so don't ever second guess yourself!! They had him for four years and he didn't make any progress with them!! I dealt,for about a year, with the special ed department too. I despise those meetings, "Study Team Meetings", where they talk about my son like they are the only ones who can do anything for him... except that they all agreed that his #1 need was one on one attention... so they sent him to Resource for several hours a day. When I pulled him out finally for good, they were "Very concerned" that I wouldn't be able to meet his biggest needs. Hello? One on one attention? Yep, got that covered. And he's on grade level, and progressing. You can't beat a one on one ratio, and when you add in love and ongoing support within your home, you've got it made. Thanks for sharing this reminder for ME. :)
ReplyDeleteI would have to agree with Cindy too- that the over-abundance of terms and acronyms actually hide the real problems and prevent them from being addressed. I am sure those teachers do want to do all that they can to help him, but the nature of the system makes it nearly impossible. You said yourself, in 4 years of trying to help him, they really haven't made much of a difference. Be strong and keep doing the right thing!
ReplyDeleteRight on!
ReplyDeleteWell said! You CAN do it. And you will because you love Billy and you're ready, willing and able to move at his pace and tailor his education to his needs. You don't have to keep pushing him along because another 36 weeks have passed by. You are just what he needs.
ReplyDeleteP.S. I can send you a shiny name badge if it'd make you feel better. ;-)
My husband is a public school teacher. He's amazed at how many times teachers say that one-on-one attention is what a student needs, and yet fail to recognize these occasions where homeschooling is a very valid option. (I of course think it's always valid...)
ReplyDeletethis was a really interesting post. as a former teacher and a current mama-- wow! it's *always* enlightening to be presented with multiple points of view. i wish you so much luck! i'm a big believer in "fair being everyone getting what they NEED" and it sounds like that's exactly what you're aiming for. impressive! all the best.
ReplyDeleteLove this post! Excited to read along with this new journey (will they go back to visit dad from time to time, or is that not possible at this time?).
ReplyDeleteM4M - Their Dad comes up to see them when he can. It's usually pretty regularly, he seems to be doing well. He'll come up and spend the weekend with us, so far it's working out well.
ReplyDeleteWe were right where you are at this moment! We pulled our children out of public school 4 years ago for the same reasons you described. It was by far the best decision we ever made. If you ever have any questions please feel free to ask.
ReplyDeleteas a teacher myself i know how hard we all try. as a mom, nothing will EVER compare to the one on one lessons and teaching he can get at home from a dedicated, willing, patient parent/caregiver. You're a smart women, trust your intuition. :) With luck by the end of next year he could be reading at or one level below his grade level. this would be amazing.
ReplyDeleteI am so impressed with your ability to regain your confidence in the middle of the meeting. That is awesome. As a former elementary and high school English teacher, I did see kids who fell throw the cracks, unfortunately. But I am convinced that you can teach him everything he needs to learn. Not only are you intelligent, but you have every available resource at your fingertips through the internet. And if you ever need any advice for online resources, tools, teaching strategies, please let me know and I will be happy to help you in any way that I can. Seriously. Looking forward to hearing great news from you in the future.
ReplyDeleteI am in awe of your heart! You are definitely doing the right thing and definitely for the absolute right reasons! I also believe he will benefit greatly from your teaching. Praying that you'll be pleasantly surprised with him (and yourself) in time!
ReplyDeleteMy oldest child is ADHD and I continually here that he does very well on his good days, other days he does very well with one on one time. Should I be the one giving my child one on one time with homeschooling? Is my child going to be failed by the public school system? I often wonder how much more he would learn if I home-schooled him. Can I become a home schooling parent? How do you prepare yourself to make the right decision for you and for your child?
ReplyDeleteI am disturbingly behind on my blog reading but this is what I needed to read. And not 2 weeks ago.
ReplyDeleteI took my son to the local public school to have him tested for speech and then got the results on wednesday. That wasn't the big deal - I like the therapist. What I really was bothered with was the principal who seemed to think that he knew my child after 2 minutes of talking to him better than I do with 7 years of experience. He clearly disapproved of our decision to delay reading instruction until my son was ready for it and seemed to think we should jump at the chance to put Junior in public school where he would never catch up because he would fall through the cracks.
And I am tired and emotional and maybe hormonal and so I am going to shut up now before this turns into a full fledged rant - or is it too late.
But thank you for this.
You can do it!
ReplyDelete