Exploring Homebirth : Part Three

As shared in both Hannah's and Kash's birth stories, homebirth isn't for everyone. Perhaps your spouse does not feel secure in the idea, perhaps you have a high risk pregnancy, or maybe, like the story you are about to read, there are circumstances come about which are out of your control. Most of the time labor and delivery is a smooth process in which the body cruises along on "auto pilot". Sometimes, however, things can go awry. That is why it's important to have a back up plan in place. Today Heather shares her attempted homebirth. I love the fact that she does not beat herself up for her labor not ending the way she had originally hoped. What do you think?

My labor started slowly. I had contractions for a few weeks before the birth - but they were mostly just tightening. On Halloween night (Friday), I woke up at about 1:30a.m. to some pretty strong contractions. When I went to the bathroom, I noticed I was losing my mucus plug (this may be TMI for those of the male persuasion who read the blog...). Basically, this meant that my cervix was opening and things were progressing. Sweet.

I was in the bathroom most of the night on Friday night. But by Saturday morning, the contractions had slowed back down. I knew that the birth was imminent, so I spent the day resting - I knew I would need my rest... But I didn't really know the half of it.

Saturday night, I woke up around the same time - 1:30am - this time to contractions that made me get out of bed. They were about 10 minutes apart, and though not TOO strong, every time I had them, I had to get up and get on my birth ball. [Come to find out later, this is a sign of a posterior baby - I was having back labor.]

David, my husband, got up around 3am to keep me company. He built a fire, we hung out...for a few hours.

Then, Sunday morning, things started to slow down again. David went to work. I tried to rest.

For those of you counting, this is the second night in a row that I haven't slept. This detail becomes important later.

So, it's Sunday morning. David got home around 11. My water broke at 11:30am. I called my midwife, who told me the standard: when my contractions are 4-5 minutes apart, 1 minute long and stay that way for an hour, call her back. Well, at this point, they were still about 10 minutes apart, so I thought I had some time.

Within 30 minutes, my contractions were 4-5 min. apart, lasting 1-2 minutes...and they never slowed down.

Sunday
11:30 (am) water breaks
12 (pm) contractions hit full force
3:30 pm - midwife arrives. I am only dilated to a 2. WHAT?! I try to regain my composure and tell myself that things could speed up. She also tells me that the baby is posterior - so I am sent into various positions during my contractions to get baby to flip. No wonder my back hurts.
11:30 pm - midwife checks me again. I am only dilated to a 6. WHAAAAT?! It is at this point that I cry. I was expecting a long labor - but this was getting hard.

The night was kind of a blur. We covered up the clocks when my water broke, so the details get kind of fuzzy to me from here on out...

At some point, my midwife gave me some herbal tincture that put me out between contractions. Since I hadn't slept in two nights (this was the third), I was exhausted (not to mention the marathon I was running). The herbal mixture took effect for about 2 hours - I would pass out (literally, sometimes I was snoring) for a few minutes - only to wake up to a contraction.

We had our tub set up, which was wonderful, especially to help me relax between contractions. Also, my midwife and doula were great about coaching me through the contractions. We had such a positive atmosphere, which made the whole process so much more manageable.

Back to the timeline...

At some point, I was checked again (maybe 4 or 5am), and I was at an 8 (transition). My midwife also realized that baby's head was turned (not pushing effectively in the right place and causing some swelling of my cervix) and her body was back to being at least partially posterior. My midwife tried to turn baby's head and position my cervix correctly.

Then, my midwife had some ideas of ways to get things moving and get her position switched. At this point, I got my 5th wind and gave it all I had. At around 6am, I remember having one foot up on a stair and with the support of my midwife and doula, I was doing lunges through my contractions. I was focused, but conscious enough to realize that what I was doing was absolutely crazy.

I tried everything. When my midwife checked me again, there had been no change. I was still at an 8, and baby was still in the same place. She tried to move the head again, manually - through two contractions. This didn't work, either (and was, I might note, the most painful part of the entire process).

It was slowly coming up on 24 hours since my water broke. I was GBS positive with no antibiotics (my choice). There was meconium. And I was totally exhausted.

After some deliberation and talk, I decided that I wanted to go to the hospital. I realized that even if I dilated to a 10, I would probably not have the strength to push out my baby - especially if the pushing phase was as slow as the other processes of labor.

Plus, someone had mentioned that there was pain relief at the hospital. Sign me up!

Up until this point, it never occured to me to leave or to seek pain relief. I felt supported, encouraged, safe and confident. I was following the natural processes of my body - which, although slow, were progressing.

But I made the decision to leave (my midwife told me later that she had a time in her head that she would have insisted we leave for the hospital - I just called it earlier than her). My midwife called the hospital to let them know we were on our way and what the situation was. Because it wasn't an emergency, we didn't rush out of the house, we didn't call an ambulance. Everyone packed up - David packed our hospital bag - and we left in our cars.

Worst car ride of my life - in rush hour traffic. That's all I'll say about that.

When we got to the hospital, it was a little before 8am on Monday morning. Right in the middle of the shift change. So we had to wait for the nurse and the OB on call. Meanwhile, I am dilated to an 8. Having 8-like contractions. Which I know aren't doing anything. And I haven't slept in 3 nights. And I've been in hard labor for 22 hours. And I was sooooo close to drugs - but they were just out of my reach...

The hospital experience ended up being wonderful. The OB on call was amazing - he was encouraging of me and the work that I had done at home. We had literally tried everything. In fact, he said that an epidural wouldn't do me any good in terms of helping my body progress along because I was already doing the work that the epidural does (i.e. block catacolomenes (sp?) so that my body can relax and do its work). I was bound for surgery - but I had to make the decision.

I opted for surgery right then, knowing that prolonging the labor wouldn't do any good (turns out, once I was checked again and we were in surgery, things were getting worse - more meconium, cervix was more swollen, and I was back down to a 6).

I think I finally got some pain relief around 9:30am. My daughter was born at 10:02am. And the whole procedure was wonderful. Everyone there was so great - the OB, the anesthesiologist, the nurses. They were supportive and encouraging and warm and professional.

Did I grieve the change of location and surgery? Yes. Definitely. Am I at peace about it? Yes. Definitely.

Would I do it the same way again for this birth even if I knew the outcome? Yes. Definitely.

I did a lot of work during my pregnancy sorting through my fears of labor, of transfer to the hospital, even of surgery. And going into my birth, I felt confident and secure and at peace with whatever the outcome. This was all tested when I had to choose the hospital, and again when I had to choose surgery. However, I felt I could embrace even these changes because I was truly at peace and calm about whatever turns were to take place during my labor. Plus, I knew I had tried everything and that surgery really was the only option.

Right now, my daughter is 15 months old, and I am facing the birth of my second child in just three weeks. I am definitely grieving the fact that I do not have the option to have a natural birth this time around, but revisiting this birth story I am reminded of the individuality of everyone's story. This next baby won't start at home. We'll take the same ride to the hospital, but I won't be dilated. We'll be in the same OR with the same doctor, but it won't be after a long labor. It's hard for me that I won't have a home birth experience, but I am learning to embrace the births that I do have - even if they involve a lot more drugs and doctors than I would ever choose.

Heather can be found blogging at Whole Living Gal. She has received training in holistic health counseling and understands the importance of finding a healthy life balance. Although, as a mom, she knows the definition of "balance" can change often. Heather seeks to lift up others by sharing her attempts, success and failures, to get "it" right.