This confession is for the public-at-large, family and friends...anyone who has not experienced or does not understand homeschooling. Hopefully this will give you some insight. I want you to know what I'm all about. Taking on homeschooling is by and large on of the best decisions I've ever made. But it isn't always easy.
I feel judged...that I cannot make a mistake because all eyes are upon me.
I do have bad days.
I'm afraid to ask for help or share my troubles for fear that any shortcoming will be attributed to homeschooling, even though many public schoolers may share similar issues.
I don't always know what I'm doing.
If you're so worried about the socialization of my child(ren), offer to take us on a field trip. You just may find we're already well socialized.
I do this because it's what I feel is best for my child(ren).
I don't think homeschooling is the answer for everyone.
I don't think public school is evil, I realize it's a good fit for some children.
Quizzing my children whenever you see them is NOT helping.
The best way you can help is to show us your support, even if you're unsure of homeschooling. Give it a chance.
We live in our home, school in our home, it's bound to be messy sometimes. Mess does not always mean lazy, it can mean busy.
I am not a stereotype.
Telling me over and over "I don't know how you do it!" "I could never homeschool." or " I can't imagine your days!" is not a compliment.
*Disclaimer-Lest I give everyone the impression that homeschooling is the hardest thing ever, or that homeschoolers always feel like victims; let me say that 90% of our days are positive and productive. But, like everyone else, we have challenges to overcome. This post was inspired by the frustration I feel when someone gives me the "she's crazy" look when they find out we're a homeschooling family. Thankfully, that doesn't happen too often.
I dont worry about what everyone thinks. In the beginning it bothered me, But I refuse to let someone elses opinion spoil our homeschooling journey and my day. What is important to me is that my kids are getting the best education by what my husband and I feel is best. I could give you a zillion reasons why, maybe I will post about that later. Lol. At any rate, my goal is to educate others about homeschooling. We can not change what they believe or what they think all we can do is educate them. It is up to them what they choose to believe.
ReplyDeleteI want to encourage you to turn a deaf ears to the negative voices that do not understand. That was the number one thing I was taught when I started homeschooling. Turn a deaf ear to the negative people who do not understand and surround yourself by the positive people who are there or who have been there and do understand then you will be able to handle to ones who do not understand. Please dont get worked up about an others choice of words. REally it does not even matter. Eventually they will understand as nearly 80 % of this country now is turning to Homeschooling and it keeps climbing. Have a great weekend!
You are very brave to home school, I don't feel that I could do it because I'm not disciplined enough to sit with my children now as toddlers.
ReplyDeleteYou are judged and it's not fair. I hope that people do read this and realize that it is a hard thing you do and that every parent must make the choice for themselves.
I taught in a public school for over 9 years. I just had my baby last January. If we still live in this house when Jack is supposed to start public school, I will be the next homeschooling mother in my family. (my sister and sister-in-law both homeschool).
ReplyDeleteThat frightens the begeebies out of me, even though I am a completely competent teacher and would have the support from all my family and friends (almost all of whom are teachers!)
Thanks for your honest post. I hope you have more encouraging days than discouraging days in your future! :)
When I meet people, especially at church, and they find out that we hs they instantly begin to judge themselves. Then, they start to rattle off all of the excuses of why they can't or shoudn't hs. I'm not sure why they do this.??
ReplyDeleteJanet
Good points. I don't get a lot of negative comments from people- I think that my children already demonstrate all the benefits of homeschooling- especially when compared to the neighbor kids and the cousins. I am convinced that homeschooling is the best choice for everyone, but not everyone is willing to make the sacrifice it requires. And it is a sacrifice- it is definitely not the path of least resistance!
ReplyDeleteLove the last sentence you posted! I am so tired of hearing from everyone "how can you stand being home with your kids all the time?". How can so many people stand not to?? Thanks for this post!
ReplyDeleteTwo thumbs up! My favorite (not!) comment is, "I just don't have the patience to homeschool."
ReplyDeleteI've been known to tell people that they can give me any excuse/reason they want EXCEPT that one. I am one of the least patient people I know, but my kids and I are doing just fine...most days. ;-)
As I am reading all of these comments, I realized at some point and time I have gotten many of same throughout the years, and that has been many years. I look back and see my children have and are still growing into well mannered,well developed and even well socialized young people. Are they perfect? No
ReplyDeleteAm I perfect, Even though I like to make them believe I am? LOL A profound No! I can honestly say that there is not a day, even the bad ones, that I wish I had done it differently. So to those that tend to criticize or say I can't do that, because of what ever reason, I say this... We have a choice to do what ever we want to do when it comes to schooling our children. I so happen to choose to school them in an environment that they feel more comfortable in. A place that they know that they can be themselves and work on their short comings without others criticizing them for it or encouraging the bad ones. I know that at the end of the day, we did our best. No it may not be for everyone, but neither is sky diving.
Goodness yes! If we have an off day, or the kids are acting out, or things don't get done I feel like everyone is waiting so say "Well, that's because you homeschool!"
ReplyDeleteI hate that feeling.
Many hugs to you.
I find it weird that people find homeschooling weird. To me it's pretty obvious that it would be great for a kid to have so much attention and an education perfectly tailored to them.
ReplyDeleteI have been a public school teacher for 12 years. I don't have anything against homeschooling. Every kid is different and has different needs; same for each family. Anyone who judges another family's decision has a lot of nerve.
I like my job a lot but frankly I'd love to homeschool my kid! (If it were to work for him, of course.)
When people give me that "you're crazy" look, I smile and say "yes, we are crazy... and we like it that way!"
ReplyDeleteI spent many years as a "home-schooler-wanna-be." These days, I am simple a "home-schooler sympathiser," and a resourse for anyone considering homeschooling. (For a non-home-schooler, I have a LOT of homeschooling friends -- in real life. I am not even counting my on-line home-schooler friends)
I was just thinking about how it annoys me when people will question my children in a friendly way, but I can tell it's a competence test. I wonder what they would do if I did something similar to their child.
ReplyDelete"What are you learning in school? Do you take tests on that? How can you tell if you are on grade level? Have you learned about the Alamo yet? YOU HAVEN'T?!"
UGH!
Well said. Looks like you've struck a chord with other homeschoolers.
ReplyDeleteI try to give people the same benefit of the doubt that I hope they give me. If people don't accept me and my schooling choices, then that's their problem.
For the most part, it's long since ceased to bother me whether people approve or don't approve that we homeschool. But it nice when people approve or support and understand my right to choose how my child is educated.
You put that very well. Thank you. I just may link to it soon!
ReplyDeletemychildsview.blogspot.com
I'm looking forward to reading more of your posts on this. My oldest is 4 1/2 and I'm considering homeschooling. Still trying to decide what's best for him. It's a little overwhelming researching the curriculum, etc.
ReplyDeleteOh yes, I can completely relate! Most of our days are very good too, but we have had several incidents where people have seen us in public during the afternoon (before "school" is out for the day) and given us 'that' look. You know the one - like, what is SHE doing with the KIDS at this time of the day?
ReplyDeleteWe have had many times where people, usually older people, feel the need to inform me (and usually not so politely) that my girls need to be in school. UGH. It's the most difficult thing sometimes to not say what is on my tongue at that very moment...but thankfully the Lord has curbed my thoughts and tongue and I try to gently explain that we finished school for the day and are now out learning life skills.
Not everyone understands home education and the blessings it brings. You're right - it's not for everyone. But, for those of us doing it right now, it's what we're supposed to be doing. For us, it is a conviction from the Lord, as it is for many of the home educating families we know.
Great post!
Susan -- I have often found it helpful to reply to unsolicited advice in the following way:
ReplyDelete"Thank you. We all have to make the choices that are best for our family."
Cheryl, I just found your blog today, I just read your guest post over at a Blessed Life and I got curious and came over here...and how happy I was to find another mom whom home schools. This is my second year of doing and for the first year, I felt I was alone. The only people I knew who did it, were my Mother in law and two other ladies in my church. I look forward to reading more posts and getting to know you :)
ReplyDeleteI only wish I would have been educated on homeschooling when my children started school. They are in 2nd & 5th grades in public school. I want to homeschool them so much, but everyone feels that its to late to start, now that there already established in school & with friends. I would love to know everyone's input. -Holly
ReplyDeleteHolly - I cannot respond to you directly via email since yours was an anonymous comment - but I wanted to let you know that it's absolutely not too late. You may have different challenges - but homeschooling isn't the end of the social world, they can keep in contact with friends. Just this year I started homeschooling my brothers in law. They are 13 (7th grade) and 15 (9th grade). And while it hasn't all been easy, it's going well.
ReplyDelete